Make room for the good stuff.

Earlier this month I got to have dinner with old friends from my college a cappella group. It was a welcome breath of fresh air.

Dinner with friends from my Purple Haze days at NU

Three of us who live here in Seattle welcomed our friend Joel, who flew in from California - I hadn’t seen him since the '90s.

Joel asked us to choose a place for dinner, and we took him somewhere that’s pretty great, but as far as I know, it’s a place where locals rarely go. Wouldn’t you know, it turned out he had been there before.

Doh!

At least the food is always good and they have an awesome view of the water. It’s hard to go wrong in that regard.

Our server was top-notch, casually coming by now and then to see if we wanted anything, as we chatted and laughed nonstop - for 3 hours.

When we finally wrapped up at the restaurant, we headed back to Joel’s hotel, where they had a karaoke room. Being the singing enthusiasts we are, we couldn’t resist. We had a blast looking up old songs, singing together, and welcoming other hotel guests into the mix as they popped in for some karaoke fun too.

It was a night that left me feeling a little more alive than I did before. I love those nights.

When I compare that evening with a typical night in my life - at home doing whatever - I think about how easy it felt to create opportunities for my kids when they were young. As parents, we find our kids a soccer league. We sign them up for piano lessons. We find the theater program or the art class or the summer camp that gives them a chance to meet people, develop interests, and have fun.

But what do we do for ourselves?

If we’re not careful, adult life can easily fill our calendars with work, errands, appointments, and responsibilities - all the things that get in the way of making us feel connected and alive.

I think that's a problem. 

Friendships don't maintain themselves. Interests don't stay alive without attention. And a satisfying life doesn't just happen because we've taken care of business.

We have to make room for the good stuff - like dinner with old friends, singing ridiculous songs, and being around people who make us laugh.

I know I'm not the only one who sometimes finds it hard to make those things happen. We hear a lot about loneliness these days, and I think in a lot of cases, it's not that we don't have people in our lives - we're lonely because we haven't made enough room to actually have fun with them.

So I have a challenge for you this week: Invite someone you like to do something fun.

Go see a baseball game. Watch the sunset from the beach. Ride the ferry and feel the wind in your hair. Have a portrait made <wink, wink>. If you're feeling particularly brave, check out a place with karaoke.

And don't end the conversation with, "We should do that sometime." Pick a date. Put it on the calendar. Send the invitation. Give yourself something to look forward to, and then go enjoy it.